When you find out someone you love has cancer, it is devastating. All you want to do is fix it, make it go away or imagine none of it is real. Then add being long distance to the equation, and you feel utterly helpless.
You naturally want to be with that person or help in any way you can, but leaving your family for months on end isn’t logistically possible.
The good news is you don’t need a private jet or an open-ended plane ticket to make a difference. There are things you can do from a distance to help someone you love battling cancer.
1 – Make a long distance care package
This includes “Open when you…” cards and notes for your loved one when they are feeling a certain emotion. It’s a great way to get the whole family involved and can be as elaborate or simple as you want it. For suggestions and how to make, read A Long Distance Cancer Care Package.
2 – Order and deliver the groceries
It might not sound very helpful, but the truth is, helping out with basic everyday errands is more helpful than buying a gift. When my dad was taking care of my mom after her stem cell transplant, he was overwhelmed by all the things he had to learn to properly take care of my mom. That is how you can help but is also the tricky part about buying groceries.
You need to know what is on the list of approved foods, along with what they enjoy eating in the first place. Ask the caregiver for a copy of the diet requirements or contact your loved one’s hospital for a nutrition outline.
Beware of the fact that chemotherapy can change taste buds and even sense of smell. Food and smells that used to be enjoyable may now be repulsive. It’s tricky and a bit risky, but the reward of helping and minimizing stress far outweighs throwing out food he or she may no longer like.
3 – Pay for a night’s stay at a hotel
Chances are there is a fair amount of traveling going on to receive the best possible care. Paying or using hotel points to ease their stress during an already stressful situation is a very kind gesture. Your hotel points are going to expire anyway so what better way to use them.
4 – Buy a gas gift card
If paying for a night’s stay is out of the question, how about a gas gift card? Regular travel is guaranteed, for not only the patient but the patient’s caregiver. It could be 10 minutes round trip once a week or 6 hours every day…that’s what it was for my dad during my mom’s stem cell transplant. Whatever situation your loved one might be in, mileage does rack up and therefore is a hefty impact on the wallet, too.
5 – Buy a pharmacy gift card
Your loved one needs regular prescriptions and a lot of over-the-counter medicines. Similar to the gas card, helping out financially in this way helps.
6 – Organize meal delivery
If groceries is too personal then organize a meal delivery plan with close friends, relatives, and nearby neighbors. Websites that are free to use to organize a meal calendar are mealtrain.com or takethemameal.com. Similar to buying groceries, meals need to be made with the diet restrictions and sanitary requirements in mind. You might not be able to make a meal yourself, but the fact that your organizing care from a long distance offers a tremendous amount of support and demonstration of love.
7 – Hire a housekeeper
Hire a housekeeper or find someone trusting to cover the essentials for the most difficult recovery periods. This is incredibly important for someone recovering at home from a stem cell transplant. Ask a neighbor, relative or close friend if they can help or offer assistance with how best to find someone. More likely than not, someone you know will volunteer, costing nothing but their time. Having a friend or relative be the temporary housekeeper will offer peace of mind, with the added benefit of not having a stranger in the house. It’s critical to keep the house germ free, so not keeping up with the cleaning isn’t an option. And at some point, the care breaker needs a break, too.
8 – Set up a GoFundMe account
A GoFundMe account is free to use and a way for everyone local and far away to help. People typically get stuck on how to help during situations like this and just want to send money, but awkwardly don’t know how or who to send it to. So setting up a GoFundMe account is a great thing you can do from a distance to help someone you love battling cancer. Talk to the caregiver to make arrangements and get their consent to your idea. They might feel uncomfortable doing it themselves or perhaps not aware that these options exist. Nevertheless, check with them first and make sure they are OK with it.
9 – Send letters and messages (video and voice ones, too)
Reminding your loved one of their progress and how far they’ve come is needed more than ever. They might not be able to read your letter or watch your video right away, but it will provide comfort when they can and need to hear from you most.
10 – Pray
Write a prayer request and leave it at your nearby church, light a candle or simply put, just pray. Take the time to pray for them. That may be the only thing they really want and need from you. And that you can do from anywhere, at any time.
After reading this, I hope you are inspired and no longer feel as though you can’t help from a distance. Now you know you can. There are things you can do from a distance to help someone you love battling cancer. Get started today.