When was the last time you went on a girls trip? Until recently, I had to get out a calendar and swipe back a few years to remember. No wonder why my temper was short and the urge to pour a glass of wine crept in daily. And as an expat mom, the need for a selfish girls trip was reaching peak limits. Not that I needed reasons to prove why a girls trip was necessary to my husband, because admittedly he even said it was time for me to go on one.
You know a girls trip is past due when even your husband volunteers you. Truthfully, my particular weekend away wasn’t just with girls. There were couples and a few singles on my solo trip. It was primarily to be with my best girlfriends for a few days. I felt guilty for going at the time, but now I know how necessary a trip like this is for anyone – especially for expat moms.
Here’s why.
6 Reasons Why Expat Moms Need A Girls Trip
1 – Beat the loneliness
Living far away from your best friends is really hard and making new ones is even harder. For some people, making new friends comes easy but may not always result in the depth of a friendship you truly miss.
Whether you have lots of local friends or not, nothing compares to those deep-rooted friendships that last a lifetime and a dozen moves along the way.
It’s easy to stay connected digitally, but nothing fills you up and beats loneliness more than a getaway with your best girlfriends.
It might be the girl time you need to establish new bonds or enjoy the reliability and trust of old ones. Either way, alone time with friends is the perfect reason to schedule a girls trip.
2 – Refill your tank
If you’re an expat mom, chances are you are an expat wife (though I prefer the term trailblazing spouse). And as an expat wife, you might as well be referred to as a superhero.
With husbands rarely home and traveling 24×7, it’s likely that everything is on you. From setting up and managing the house, caring for the kids, possibly working or volunteering, and becoming a full-time event planner, tutor, and chef, it’s easy to get downright exhausted and burned out.
Feeling empty, short with the kids, and possibly resentful for feeling more like a single parent than a happily married wife, no time is better than the present to schedule a girls trip.
A mom, expat mom or not, running on empty isn’t good for anyone.
3 – Have fun without watching the clock
There’s something to be said for having time to yourself without watching the clock. A girls trip gives you the freedom to manage your own time or not worry about time at all. There’s no homework to worry about, no kids to tuck in, no babysitter deadline to meet, and no morning lie-in guilt.
A girls trip lets you do whatever you want, on your own time, without boundaries. Well, some boundaries but none other than your own.
Girlfriends reunite for a weekend away after a year apart.
4 – Give your partner a chance to carry the load
Let’s be honest. We all want our partner to appreciate the depth of what we do. Working moms in an office or even at home, we freaking do a lot. And as an expat mom, that typically means managing family life entirely on our own with only a few people (or possibly none if the move is still fresh) to call on for help.
I’m not suggesting that our partners don’t contribute at home because mine certainly does a lot, but deep down inside we want to know if they can manage without us.
As I prepared to leave for my solo Texas weekend away, my husband started to ask a lot of questions. Some of them were asked over and over again, like:
- How do I use the washing machine?
- Can you document the kids’ schedule for the week?
- Where do I go to pick up the kids?
- What do I need for the kids’ dentist?…
Truth be told, I found his sense of overwhelm a bit satisfying but also really cute. That might make me a bad wife for admitting it, but it also did something else. It actually reminded me of my very important purpose for our family, which can be easily forgotten when we feel lonely and empty after leaving a career to become an expat.
So I happily wrote out in advance all the important bits he would need to know, and I kept him posted of any school changes while I was away.
And you know what? Aside from accidentally leading the kids to witness the naked London gay pride bicycle run that took place on Regent’s Street as they exited Hamley’s, my husband managed superbly. My 7-year-old daughter may be forever scarred by the naked images she repeatedly tells me she can’t wipe from her brain, but other than that the kids said they had a fab time with just dad. 😂
5 – So you can miss each other
With a girls trip away from the husband and kids, it gives you the opportunity to actually miss your family. That might sound harsh but for moms that have reached their limits, it might be time for some space and a break apart.
As an expat mom, there are very few breaks from the family. In fact, becoming an expat creates a bond unimaginable because the truth is, you only have each other. Yes, you make friends and eventually you find your village, but moving abroad changes the family. You become closer and nearly inseparable in a different way than the way it used to be.
This is amazing but can also be too much when there haven’t been any breaks in between – particularly for the parent that wasn’t the one sponsored to move abroad in the first place.
Sometimes getting away is simply all you need to be reminded of how lucky you are to have such fabulous kids and partner. And all those seemingly important things that had previously built up a tremendous amount of frustration, become really nothing at all.
And the same goes for the kids. They might be sad when it’s time for you to go or they might not be sad at all. But after a few days without mom, they will miss you, too.
There will be no shortage of hugs, kisses and overall good vibes upon your return.
6 – Return happy and ready to dig in all over again
A solo weekend away with just friends will undoubtedly help you return happier with a renewed sense of self. You’ll be ready to dig in all over again but with far more gratitude and energy.
It might seem selfish to spend money on a trip just for you. However, if it fills you up in a way that benefits the entire family’s well being, then it’s money extremely well spent. And we all know it will. 😉
Sure, the house won’t be the way you left it but does it really matter? Your partner or person you left in charge managed, right? Kids are totally fine and likely happier than they’ve been in a while since rules were undoubtedly broken, schedules not met, and they’ve had more dinners out than in. In other words, they had fun, too.
So, what are you waiting for? If you haven’t been on a girls trip in over a year, it’s time to get one scheduled. A girls trip doesn’t have to be extravagant, long or even far away. But it does need to happen. Because a selfish mom from time-to-time is a very happy one.
Looking for more expat mom resources? Try these.
- Trailing Spouse: Why It’s Rubbish & What To Do About It
- Third Culture Kids: 9 Tips To Help A Child Settle Abroad
- Moving abroad? Download the moving abroad checklist. Created for expats, by an expat who moved abroad in less than 3 months. All the steps in chronological order to get you organized to move from the USA to the UK. Download today!
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