Moving alone is hard but meeting new people in a new city can feel overwhelming and downright impossible. Finding ways to make new friends and develop good friendships can be exhausting. The older you get, the harder it seems. And if you’re an introvert, like me, it can take every ounce of energy to put yourself out there – and then to recover from it.
But making new friends doesn’t have to be as hard as you think. There are several easy ways to make new friends – both in-person and online.
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Why Making New Friends Is So Important
Your very best friends will always be there for you, but it’s important to have local friendships, too.
Technology makes it easy for people to stay connected despite the long distance, but it can get lonely if there aren’t local friendships in your life. Living through your kids alone will not fulfill you.
It’s important to have social time for you, too. After all, no one can quite understand and relate to the local lifestyle, challenges, and rewards you experience living in a new place better than those that live near you.
Don’t expect others to make new friends for you. You have to put in the effort.
So don’t stay closed up in your home for too long. You made the move, now make the most of it.
10 Ways To Meet New People And Make Friends
After moving around from state-to-state and country-to-country nearly every 3 to 6 years, and sometimes sooner, I’ve learned a thing or two about how to meet new people in a new city. Whether single or married, one, many or all of these methods work to help you meet new people and make friends.
1 – Join a Club
This is one of the easiest ways to meet new people. It’s on your list of things to do anyway, so make it a top priority.
A club could be for you, your family, or your kids. It might be a fitness center, spinning class, sports team, women’s group, or learning a trade. It doesn’t really matter what it is, as long as you join an activity that gets you out of the house to find people with similar interests.
2 – Go to School Events
And not just go to them, but insert yourself into conversations. Introduce yourself to someone new, sign up for school parent socials, or let your kids try an after-school activity.
If you’re an introvert like me, it can be frightening trying to break into an established mom group. I know it’s hard, but the other moms might be just as frightened or curious as you are.
It takes effort on your part to say hello, but once you do, it gets easier. And if you’re lucky, you might make a super good friend or two out of it.
Attend school activities to meet new people
Nevertheless, these are the parents of the children your kids will be talking about. Getting to know them isn’t just important for your own social needs, but for your kids, too. Ahem, playdates. 👭
3 – Volunteer
If being at home is driving you mad or simply another moving box that needs unpacking, then perhaps find an organization to volunteer at.
Volunteering at school, a church, an animal society or a charity you’re fond of is a great way to meet new people because you will immediately have something in common. There are so many options that you’re guaranteed to find a relatable organization.
The time you put into volunteering is up to you, but a great way to get out of the house with little commitment. You’ll feel good about it once you’ve done it, even if you don’t meet anyone that you see as your future local bestie.
4 – Go for a Walk
And bring your dog! When we first moved to St Albans, I had no idea what I was doing, where we even were, or what my routine should be. The one reliable thing I had every day was our dog.
The kids would go to school, the hubs went to work, and I stayed behind at the flat. It took me a couple of weeks to finally brave the world by myself. And when I say, “brave the world”, I literally mean bundling up and going for a walk.
Lovely St Michael’s Village walk, St Albans
I turned to my dog and we explored. And every time we went to the park, which we discovered very close to our flat, I met a new person. It’s amazing how these furry 4 legged friends bond you to other pet owners fairly instantly.
Walking the dog opens doors to a conversation, a friendly hello or a chat about the weather. You feel accomplished after the walk. You got exercise, your dog got exercise, and you made a new friend or acquaintance out of it, too.
At the very least, going for a walk with your dog is giving you practice on how to meet new people. Guaranteed. 🚶🏼♀️
5 – Hang out at Coffee Shops
Staying at home can get lonely and frustrating, particularly when it starts to feel like your purpose is to clean the house all day every day. That’s how I started to feel and realized I needed to force myself out of the house and into a routine.
If I wasn’t ready for anything else, surely coffee or tea would do the trick. That meant grabbing my laptop and heading to a nearby cafe.
You’d be amazed at how easy it is to strike up a conversation with fellow coffee goers. There is a bit of a silent oath between patrons when sitting alone in a coffee shop. Like you’re part of the same tribe.
There is an exchange of unspoken trust, a nod of the head to watch your things so you can order another drink or to share space when the tables are full. It’s actually a cool vibe, especially if it’s a pretty one. ☕️
The coffee shop downside is that it can get hefty on your wallet and your health if you opt for the fancy latte and muffin every day (my weakness!). If you have willpower, this might be the perfect option for you to meet new people.
6 – Find a Local Group on Facebook or Other Social Media
This could be a neighborhood group, a local hobby group, or perhaps even a local expat group. You can find a group here.
Search for words in Facebook that include your town name, a hobby, or even expat. Pay attention to the lower right-hand corner of your Facebook page for recommendations that might be a match for a group of people you want to connect with.
Facebook is incredibly resourceful for finding your way in a new town. Join the school Facebook group and become friends with other parents. Those parents might be able to introduce you to others that you’re seeking to find.
In fact, I was introduced to the local American expat group leader through another school mom that happened to play tennis with her. She connected us because I asked around and joined the school Facebook group which ultimately opened doors to join the American expat group online and make new friends. My perseverance paid off. I have a regular weekly meet up with new friends and even family weekend socials as a result. 🤛🏻
7 – Invite a Neighbor for Afternoon Tea
It doesn’t have to be tea. It can be anything really. The point is, get to know your neighbors. After all, you need someone to look after you and your house when you go out of town or sign for that package when you conveniently missed the mail delivery. Or worse, return your dog when he escapes from your garden!
Inviting a neighbor over for tea is a perfect way to make a new friend for 3 reasons:
- It isn’t a long commitment so if there isn’t a connection, no harm done. Time-bound it if you’re uncertain by letting them know in advance.
- It’s an excellent gesture for requesting advice on how to make the perfect English cup of tea or whatever local advice you might need.
- They might have kids that either make great playdates with your own, or old enough to be that babysitter for a date night.
Wherever I have lived, I’ve needed to learn the ways of the locals. Whether it be how to live life despite the continuous Oregon rain, navigating Los Angeles, or dealing with Texan culture, my neighbors came through for me in every situation. As a result, I’ve made lifelong friends along the way. And you can, too!
8 – Plan a Lunch or Happy Hour
Maybe you met a couple of people at a school function or at the shop you volunteered at and want to get to know them better but feel awkward inviting them to your house for tea. Your house might still be in boxes, the laundry piled up, or house cleaning is past due. If any of these sound familiar, then find somewhere neutral to organize a get-together.
A get-together to meet new friends and develop friendships doesn’t need to be elaborate. Try these:
- Make lunch reservations at a new restaurant/cafe that you’ve heard great reviews about.
- Find a happy hour that offers specials and nibbles. Make sure there is parking nearby or walkable since parking can often be a dealbreaker (at least in the UK!).
- Offer several dates to meet up and factor in the kids’ schedule so that it’s convenient and easy for all.
9 – Play Up the Time of Year
Trying to meet new people around busy holidays can feel like an impossible goal, but it actually offers an abundance of creative ways to introduce yourself. This is typically when people are out and about anyway, so it eliminates the awkward feeling you get when knocking on your new neighbors’ door. Regardless of the time of year, use the holiday to your advantage.
Seasonal opportunities to meet new people:
- Spring – Leave a May Day basket on a neighbors doorstep. Read here on how to put together a May Day basket, along with with other fun May ideas.
- Summer – Have your kids run a lemonade stand on Bank Holiday or Memorial Day, host a Midsummer’s Eve block party (set chairs in the front yard, cooler full and ready, and the Swedish flag flying) or set off 4th of July fireworks in your street (where legal).
- Fall – Bake pumpkin whoopie pies and drop off to the neighbors’ house as a simple introduction. Or decorate your house Halloween style, which is a very American thing to do. Both will have the neighbors talking and interested in what you have to offer them.
- Winter – Bake cookies or buy cookies if you and the oven don’t mix. Or deliver a roll of wrapping paper with tape and a clever poem attached. That’s what we did and out of the 4 houses we delivered to, we’ve become good friends with 2. I’d say that’s a fantastic return!
10 – Go to the Pub
There is no better place to meet new people than at your local pub. You can rely on your pub for meeting new people, getting to know the community and for help navigating it.
Coach & Horses, London
We’ve gone to our pub for loads of help – where do we get wood, where can we sign up for football teams, have you seen our dog? 🤣
As a matter of fact, our daughter wanted her birthday at the local pub and she shared her birthday cake with the staff. We made an effort to get to know the pub owner and as a result, we spend major holidays together, golf and even an occasional girls night out.
So, become regulars, make traditions and get to know the local. It will not fail you.
Now, get out there and start introducing yourself.
Whatever it is you have to offer, you’re guaranteed to meet new people if you do any or all of these things. Besides, what better way to make your house your home by bringing a little of your own traditions into the mix. It helps everyone involved because your family gets to enjoy important traditions, you get to share them with new people, and hopefully make a fantastic friend or more out of it.
Say yes to everything to make new friends. Eventually, one or two ways to meet new people will click.
Not all 10 ways to meet people may resonate with you and that’s okay. Maybe you have your own ideas and just need a bit of encouragement to get out there and just do it. I understand.
Pick what feels natural to you and give it a shot. Put in the effort despite how uncomfortable it may feel. The awkward phase will not last forever.
What matters most is that you’re getting out there and eventually one of the ways to meet new people will “click”. And before you know it, you’ll develop friendships that will turn into lifelong friends. So, if you think you can’t meet new people and develop friendships, think again. Remember to just say, “yes”.
Looking for more resources to get settled in the UK? Try these.
- Expat Wife: 5 Steps That Led To My Acceptance
- 6 Fab Essentials Every Expat Woman Needs
- Sign up for a week of dinner recipes (and grocery list, too) 👉HERE
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