As part of our expat experience in the UK, we chose to put just 2 TVs in the house vs. the 5 we had in Texas. I realize how ridiculous that sounds but it’s the pathetic truth. We had more TVs than family members unless you count our dog. What’s worse is if you factor in the other devices our total technology count is in the double digits.
Clearly, my husband and I haven’t been the best role models. Our children have been surrounded by work phones, personal phones, and laptops for the last 6-8 years. Both careers had us consumed by technology morning through the night so naturally, our kids are, too.
The move overseas felt like the perfect opportunity for a fresh start with the kids since we clearly failed the first time. I was hopeful our big lush backyard, cooler temps and new surroundings would be just what my kids needed to break their tech habits.
With fewer TVs, strict time monitoring on phone use, and punishment including loss of use for bad behavior, I was certain our kids would be on the right path to fewer than 2 hours a day of staring at bright screens. I was certain they would be happier and more imaginative. But you know what? None of it mattered.
Even with all the excitement of a new home, new sports, and new school, my 6 and 8-year-old are just as hooked on technology now as they ever were in the States. On the weekend mornings when I sleep in past them, I can find them both laying in their beds glued to youtube watching Nerf videos, Dude Perfect or researching which squishy they plan on convincing me to buy them at the market. By the time I’ve had my coffee, they’ve already killed at least 50% of what’s considered the maximum screen time for the day.
Whatever happened to playing with toys? Or better, playing hide and seek outside or exploring the woods. It drives my husband and me completely insane when they mutter, “I’m bored”. What’s even more infuriating is when they don’t make eye contact, listen or acknowledge you when you’re talking to them because they are too busy with the bright screen.
The only time the kids seem occupied and content is when they are glued to electronics. But something needed to change.
We had started going to the pub on Friday nights and Sunday afternoons. It is our treat for my husband and me after surviving another week in a new country. From an American perspective, a pub wouldn’t be our family hotspot, but in the UK the pub has become second nature to us as a family destination.
Even with kid-friendly pubs though, if we didn’t want to speed eat fish and chips, we’d have to have our kids bring their iPhones. Without some form of distraction, they’d be miserable, grumpy and ask repeatedly if it was time to leave yet.
Yet suggesting phone use was contradictory to what we wanted. We were trying to shorten time on phones, not encourage more of it. We knew we wouldn’t be able to get rid of their tech addiction entirely but there had to be something else to satisfy their attention.
I don’t recall what visit to the pub it occurred that I did this, but it changed everything.
I started bringing Skipbo to the pub.
Skipbo is a fairly simple card game but it’s enjoyable for all ages. I knew that for everyone to get what they wanted out of a family evening together, we needed a game that would keep the attention of my families competitive spirit but not be so intense that it caused bickering, which my kids are also pros at.
Skipbo allows the kids to work on their numbers, team up together against mom and dad, and has them completely technology free for the entire night. They don’t EVER ask for their phone when we play Skipbo. It’s fun for them and fun for US. We get a night out with happy electronic free kids. The kids get to play card games with mom and dad. It’s a win-win.
The first time I brought Skipbo to the pub an older gentleman came up to our table. He said, “I’m sorry. I just have to interrupt and tell you that I love this. I love seeing you all here playing a family game together and your kids not on devices. It’s just wonderful.”
That same feedback has repeatedly been given to us since we started Skipbo in the pub. In fact, a couple with their two kids just a year older than ours happened to be sitting next to us at the pub April 9th. It was my daughter’s birthday so I remember it well.
They seemed annoyed that their kids were restless and wanted to know what we were playing. The mom hinted towards not having adult time – that they were trying to have an evening at the pub with their kids but it wasn’t turning out as expected. It was clear on their faces that their kids were bored. It gave me flashbacks when my husband and I would do our best to hold out on giving in to technology at restaurants.
Some days I forget to throw Skipbo in my purse, and yes, we give in to technology when the kids become completely restless. But those days are far and few between now. Skipbo is so much fun for our kids that they ask to go to the pub on Friday nights and Sunday afternoons now. We play Skipbo at home too, but the pub has become a family tradition now.
It might just be a game of Skipbo and 1 Fanta later at the pub, but it’s our new English tradition. A tradition that replaced our kid’s technology addiction. A tradition that lets us drink some wine, have a beer and play cards with our happy hands-free kids.
Finally, a simple solution to a very big electronics problem: Skipbo at the pub. It won’t save all your family technology woes, but it is a refreshing fun start.